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Tuesday Confessional Booth

Tuesday Confessional Booth

As I had decided, I broke the fast on Sunday. To my relief — and also to my regret! — I didn’t go wild. A few Jelly Bellies (that was an accident; one of the kids put them in my hand while I was teaching and I popped them in my mouth), three Oreos, and a cup of my usual coffee-ish morning beverage (Maxwell House International Coffees Orange Cappuccino, which is more sugar and creamer than coffee) after my post-church nap. No binging on sugar; not even dessert after every meal, as I had planned. I regretted that a little on Monday when I was in Whole Foods and could smell chocolate and baked goods everywhere.

Yesterday’s breakfast (which is what the photograph shows, although it’s not the best photo) was Root Vegetable Hash (parsnips, carrots, shallots, nitrite-free bacon, and yummy spices) with two eggs. I would have told you I didn’t like parsnips, but they were quite good. I think my tastebuds are all freaked out. They’ve forgotten their clear preferences.

Confession: I had candy on Saturday. Not just candy: a whole Snickers bar with coffee. I didn’t crave sugar so much as I desperately wanted to wake up; I was so sluggish. Magi wasn’t home, and I was a little aimless. Nothing like chocolate and coffee to wake me up! Then Sunday arrived, and the temptation was to say, “No, you don’t get to break the fast, since you cheated yesterday.” But cheating *yesterday* has nothing to do with the feast day; it’s like saying, “I’m not going to celebrate the resurrection because I ate chocolate yesterday.” or “No communion for cheaters!”

Definitely feeling ready to incorporate the other two elements of the usual Lenten discipline. The usual three are fasting (check), prayer (hmm; half-check?), and almsgiving (giving to those in need). After a week focused on getting through each day without sugar, I realize that all the preparation I did was in regards to the fast. My best spiritual retreats involve equal preparation for prayer and almsgiving.

Today I will plan for Week Two, and decide how to incorporate the prayer and almsgiving into Lent.

3 thoughts on “Tuesday Confessional Booth

  1. Oh, look, I can make a dress out of the cornmeal sack cloth!
    Seriously,it’s good to be aware of the internal deals/demands we make: “Life, if I [do the good thing], then I demand that [the thing I don’t want] won’t happen.” Always counting, counting, counting; weighing, weighing, weighing, expecting our own self-interested egos to decide what’s fair and necessary. “I’ll make it up tomorrow.” “I got ahead yesterday.” It’s like trying to get a better grade in a tough class by challenging the assignments and arguing with the professor.

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